"And with a girl as sweet as you, there is not much I cannot do, But for fall for you"-Never Shout Never, Hummingbird
Ok, so you know when I wrote that blog and said that me and Alix broke up and that I won't be typing any more blogs about me and Alix? well I lied and I know Alix doesn't read my blogs so I am saying this without fear.
I am falling in love with her. Well I am in love with Alix. DAMMIT. I can't she is my friends. But it's like I feel so happy and so complete feeling when she is around me. I don't know what has happened with my emotions. I am suppose to surpress these wants and needs to admitt that YES! I do have feelings for Alix still. A LOT of people have asked me "what is it about her?" and honestly I don't know, It's that fact that she is amazing in almost every way possible. She beautiful and one hell of strong person. I don't know. I probably am the only one who thinks this. I am sure, VERY sure that she don't feel the same way about me. But why do I?
I spent most of the day with her and she napped and it didnt matter to me, I was just happy she wanted to see me and the fact that she missed me enough to want to hang out with me.. This weekend I am going to go stay with Tym and John and I am taking Alix with me. I am excited I guess. But at the same times I am scared because I don't know if my feelings are going to keep growing deeper or if they are going to vanish. But I doubt they are going to vanish for a while but I know they are going to keep growing.
*Sigh* I miss her
But I shouldn't miss her this way
Fuck, why? Why does this not scare me? Why?
I know I am alone with this, I know Alix don't feel the same as I do, which is fine. But god I do love her. Yes I admitt it I love her. I love her very much and more.
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That's one hell of a situation to be in... I'm kind of going through the same thing myself.
ReplyDeleteIt's the worst feeling in the world knowing that you feel that way for someone but they don't feel it back (But hey, at least you can blog about it... I can't cause mine actually gets read by the person involved).
I'd like to give you some advice on how to make sense of it all... but I really don't think there's an answer to it (if I find it, I'll let you know).
Nelo