Wow, I Hate This

"Part of the beauty of falling in love with you, is the fear you won't fall"-Joshua Radin

*sighs* Tomorrow would be mine and Alix's one month, but she broke up with me yesterday. I cried, she cried, I know she cares, I care about her, she thinks she loves me, and I think I love her. But, I dont know what to do.....I just want to sit and talk it out...

We were suppose to talk today when I saw her but we couldnt because we werent one on one and she asked me to call her tonight and we would talk but I don't know. I am glad I got to see her today, I am really glad because I missed her like crazy, it felt nice to wrap my arms around her again, it really felt nice to kiss her again, it felt nice to hear her say that she missed me, and it feels good that she wants me to call her tonight.

I have so much to say but I don't know where to start. I want to tell her how much I want to be with her and that I promise to make sure that the drama and people coming in between us will stop and that I won't yell or get angry at her again and that she makes me happy and I don't want to lose her, and that I almost love her and that she makes me the happiest I have ever been, and I don't want to lose someone in my life that cares for me as much as I care for her.

But I don't know if saying that will solve anything or convince her that I am not a total piece of shit, But who knows, we may not even get any talking done tonight because we probably won't be a one on one conversation...but I don't know all I can do is hope that maybe the girl I called my girlfriend will be my girlfriend again.